Increase Understanding by Adding this Phrase to Your Question
Two decades ago, my husband Cliff and I were Peace Corps volunteers in the Kingdom of Tonga. Living on a coral reef in the middle of the South Pacific, with only basic training in the local language, we often struggled to communicate with our hosts and neighbors.
One conversation went something like this, as Cliff asked where our homestay brother Makoni had gone.
Cliff: Where is Makoni?
A neighbor: With the cooler.
Cliff: Where is the cooler?
A neighbor: With Makoni.
Not helpful, but also not their fault. Sometimes to get the answer we have to ask the right kind of question.
Here’s a photo of us, in the Peace Corps, a month or so before Makoni and the cooler went missing.
Seth Godin, the author and marketing expert, has a tip for getting the information you need: ask for it step by step.
Godin observes that if you ask a question of AI, how you ask a question is often as important as what you ask. Add a phrase like, “explain it to me step by step,” and your AI assistant of choice will be more likely to provide the information you really need.
This works for people too. “When we prompt a human brain to explain the steps, an entirely different process kicks in,” says Godin. Ask me to tell you what mitochondria are, and from the recesses of my brain I can give an answer I memorized in high school biology—mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell. But ask me to explain mitochondria, step by step? Um … can I phone a friend?
Imagine you’re delegating a project to one of your team members. You could follow your request by asking, “Do you understand?,” and get a yes for the answer. Or, you could say, “Do you understand? Want to tell me what you heard, step by step, to make sure we’re aligned?” and feel more confident that your delegation has been received.
Of course, step by step isn’t always the right addendum. Other phrases that might be useful as alternatives, when asked with genuine curiosity:
Walk me through your conclusions.
Help me see what you’re seeing.
Tell me what happened from the beginning.
We get the information we need, understand more clearly, and check our assumptions when we ask for specificity.
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PS: In case you’re wondering, Makoni and the cooler were at the wharf.
